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Thursday, February 23rd, 2006
11:39 pm - just for you.... know who....
turkey on honey wheat with provalone and ranch.

cole slaw soup


diet pepsi

i miss you too!!!!!!!

current mood: sleepy

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Sunday, February 5th, 2006
4:26 pm
oh yeah i have decided i want to start skating agian. me and jesse had a long talk about it last night and he is totally willing to support me! i am excited i miss skating soooo much! so if anybody knows anybody around here that might be intreasted let me know.

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4:01 pm - i have the greatest boi in the world
the show last night was amazing! it was so much fun.it started off kinda yucky though. two of our friends bailed on us then jesse was in a funky mood. so we get to the club and doors were suppossed to open at 8. unfortunitly they did not open untilll like 9. so in an all out attempt to cheer mah boi up, with a side agenda to piss we went to the bar next door to have a well needed traditional star and jesse supper, beer and jagar! yummy! so shortly our grumpy evening turned into a wonderfull event. i meet some really kewl people and saw the most fuckin amazing show! the two opening bands kinda sucked though. one band from atlanta reminded me of if mick jagger and the white stripes had an illegal love child high skool battle of the bands type bands! it was pretty bad.

so yeah i have the greatest boi. we are at the show and jesse keeps going to the bar to get us beer during the two crappy opening bands couse he doesnt want me to loose my great spot up front. so he comes back and is like there is the is chick with crazy bleached hair that is basicly undressing him with her eyes. she keeps smiling at him while he is getting our beer and he just turns and walks awya to come be with me. well he tells me this and i am just like what ever its probley some dumb 18 year old wanting you to buy her beer. so we laugh about it then forget about it. well later on there is the big build up of the changing of the bands and the bassist and drummer and guitar players come out. then finally the lead singer comes out. from behind me i hear my beloved boi yell "our fucking seriouse! thats the chick from the bar!" holy shit my baby had been getting hit on by rachel nagy! the lead singer of the detroit cobras! and he came back to me! shes hot, dont know if i could have done the same. it was very very amusing. i tried to get him to go flirt with her so i could get a hook up but he refused. i couldnt belive it. holy shit that was funny.

anyhow it was a great show i bought a loverly new tee and a sticker and a button. i was so excited i had to put my shirt on as soon as we got in the car and made jesse take a picture of me! i will soon post them as soon as i figure out how... :)

current mood: bouncy

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Tuesday, January 31st, 2006
9:10 pm - YIPP fucking IE!!!!
I AM SO EXCITED!!!! jesse is taking me to see the detroit cobras for my birthday!!!! te he i knew moving to nashville would pay off in the end, if for no other reason then all the great shows i have seen since i have been here!!! j\k baby!

current mood: drunk

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Sunday, December 4th, 2005
10:19 pm
oh yeah. pimp i also got a drink today where "there warm let my tummy and went to my heart" i had to giggle and tell our story.

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9:58 pm
i made it to new orleans today. its really warm i was all bundled up do to our freezing nashvegas temp and came here and its freaking 75!

its not near as bad as i expected. maybe thats cause i expected choas. i havent been to much of town yet. there are still alot of places that are shut down completly. we are staying on bourbon street. its an alright place. the first room we had smelled like a renovated strip club. we pawned that one off onto someone else real quick...

i am ready to go home though. i hate being away. i want to be in my own bed with my own boi in my own house.

so we got some troubling news yesterday. jesse's little brother is in the marines and he got his orders and has to go to iraq first of january. i really really dont want him to have to go. its bad enough i have one brother over there right now. i dont want to have to send my new little brother there to. and speaking of that we have decided to push back the wedding since he is going to be gone for soh. long. at least 9 months. if not a whole year. we really want him to be a part of it and i know that we would not want to miss it. so everything is kinda jumbled up in the air right now. the really crappy thing is our date. there is no way in hell he will be back by july 14th. we picked that day cause it is very special to us for a couple diffrent reasons. first of all its the day we decided that we wanted to be toghether no matter what and its also my big brothers birthday. and for those of you that know me you know how important he is to me. it was very important for us to include him in our lives and our ceremony so he would feel more comfortable "letting go" of me. so now we are having to start all over from scratch. we cant even really set a new date because we dont know when he is going to be back. and that is really the important thing is that he does come back and is here for it. maybe i can mail him to canada and he wont have to go. hmmmmm i need to find a big box.
i guess it is a blessing in disuese though, this gives us more time to plan and get things toghter. this wedding planning bussiness is rough. i havent even really gotten to the hard parts and i am already stressing. melanie.... where are you?? help!!!! :)

so is anything goin on in h town for new years? jesse and i were talkin about coming down there for it. i know you guys are like waht the hell. everybody want to go to nashville or atlanta and i want to come there??? i do. i really miss everybody and would really really like to see everyone and spend some time with my friends. i dont get homesick so much as i do friend sick. i really miss everyone. so if anyone knows of anything going on and or has a little extra space where they wouldnt mind if we crashed overnight i would love to come down and see everyone.

i am going to go to bed now i have to get up at 4 to go to work. i have no idea what condition the store is in or who the other team is that we are working with. so tommorrows post may or may not want to be skipped over. depending on how grumpy i am when i leave work.

night lovelies

current mood: sleepy

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3:40 pm - you know you wanna..

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Friday, December 2nd, 2005
10:44 pm
sorry its been so long. i am a horrible lg-er. i have been super busy lately. so much to post so much to post.

so first of all, probley not the best idea to down a sixer then try to type. you.ve been forwarned any typo's... not my fault.

THE EPOXIES FUCKING ROCKED!!! holy crap i loved it i had a blast and i got to meet roxy epoxie!!!! i know how cool is that! she was sooo nice we talked for a bit. against me was also fucking amazing. i love those guys. i bought thier acoustic album at the show and was super impressed. everyone should go buy it now. right now!

i had an interview today for a promotion at work i really think it went well. it was like i really boned with both of my two new hopefully future bosses. like we were talking and it seemed like we both wanted and expected the same things. i really really want this job so every one keep thier fingers crossed for me.

nashville is going well i have been home for almost two weeks now. still trying to get settled. it seems to be a never ending process though. i know that as soon as i finally get everything situated its going to be the day we decid eto buy a house. and i will have to start all over again.

i leave on sunday to go to new oleans for a week. please dear got do not let me get malaria!!!

for the first time in a very long time i can truely say that i am happy. wow. its so weird to even think about it. i am really really happy. of course the is random everyday crap i would change, like having to get up ant 5 to go to work or being out of ice cream or waiting for the school bus to decide to get out of my way. but over all, i am a happy star.
i have a great apartment. a decent job. a have fallen into the most loving accepting family i could ever imagine. i have a brand new little sister that thinks i am the coolest thing in the intire world and want s to spend every free moment getting to know me and spend time with me.
but abaove all of that i have the most amazing boi ever. holy crap. what the hell did i do to get him i dont know. sorry to be all sappy. i know i am not usually like this at all but something about him, about us together just makes me a different person. he loves me like no one has ever loved me. ever. and i love him like i never imagined i could ever ever love someone. sometimes i catch him looking at me from the across the room or the other side of the bar, and our eyes meet and i know that we just feel in love all over again. that actaully just happend again last night. amazing. its funny how everyone always tells you, you know when it happens to you. i was like what ever you are stupid. but i totally knew. never a doubt in my mind. i remember i came home one weekend and told my girlie that i had meet someone and tried to explain how i was feeling and how comfused i felt cause stuff like that didnt happen to me. i didnt fall for bois. bois fell for me. and she just listend and grined and told me that i didnt need her advice becouse i already knew what i wanted to do. what i needed to do. you gave me so much strength and support that day. thank you. you'll never know how much it ment to me.
i really am luck to have what i have. its like for the first time in forever, someone really gets me. i mean really. many have tried and some have come close but now its like thier is no trying. no need to, it just happens. were amazing together. sometimes i forget there is a whole nother world goin on around us and its not just us in line at wal-mart running amuck of skippin through the parking lot. we really do have the whole world and the rest of our lives ahead of us. and all i can say is lets go, bring it on. i have never been so ready for anything. ever. i cant wait.
its amazing how wonderfull he makes me feel. even on my frumpiest of days i am still the most beautifull girl in the world. when i am cranky and grumpy and need a nap, he puts me to bed and just holds me untill i feel better. you know how there are those mornings were you need coffee to get up and get going to work, and there are those lazy weekend mornings were a good cup of coffee just starts the day off right, those are the days he wakes up and makes me coffee just to relaxe and make me happy. i know he would do anything to make me happy. and i would do the same for him. its amazing. we are so much the same person but completly diffrent all at the same time.
the best disciption i can give is one that some one gave to me the other day and it has just stuck with me since and at first i was like "uh ok. if you say so." but the more i think about it the more it really is the best way to describle us... a wise man once said " you guys are like a rock and roll rouge fairy tale" and you know what? we really are. and i could never ask for anything more. i have everything i ever wanted. right here wrapped up in one person. and for that i am thankfull. i remember i used to wish on shooting stars and blown eyelashes that some day i would find my perfect boy. i did that for years. well the other night i found myself in the company of a shooting star and i missed it because i really had no idea what to wish for. my wish has come true. i have my perfect boi. my perfect relationship, my perfect life. and for that, i am thankful.

current mood: grateful

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Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005
10:22 pm

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9:31 pm - btw
my phone is been resurrected. no more fatal battles with the ocean for us.... so yes you can reach me again by my phone or jesse's.

current mood: still excited

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9:23 pm
i am so glad to be back at home. even if it is for only a week. i will take what i can get right now. thats right i have to leave next week to go down to new orleans for a week to help out with a store that got f-ed up by katrina. then i am flying from new orleans to ohio to do the whole xmas thing with jesse's family. still not to sure about that whole ordeal. immadiate family is ok but where talking like whole extened this one his brothers uncles cousin who married the guy that works on your grandma's car type thing. oh well i guess we will see. wish me luck.

on a brighter note. tommorrow is going to be the best day ever!!! not only do i get to see the epoxies and against me, but i also get to see the new rent movie!!! i can not wait! i wish i was in huntsville to see it with everyone else though. i think that would be fun. maybe i can come down some time and we can all watch it again.
the epoxies show is going to rock!!!! i am sooooo excited. i love them sooooo much!!! i cant belive i finally get to go see them.

i want to be roxy epoxie when i grow up!!!!

current mood: excited

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Sunday, November 13th, 2005
8:23 pm
holy crap!!! the epoxies are playing nashville on the 23rd!!! i will be home then. i am sooooooo fucking there!!!

current mood: ecstatic

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8:17 pm
hooray for new piercings!!!

5 days and counting till i get to come home!!! i miss you!

current mood: excited

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Friday, November 11th, 2005
10:02 pm
Always a spectacle
Its a public show,
Unimpressed so its time that I let you go.
From these antics, I may not be pure,
But I'm not all that toxic.
Now I'm checking out,
And enlisting for stable living,
So lets drop the act,
I've found something thats more appealing.
All this dependence on modern machinary.
Come for the week and you'll stay for the scenery.
Tear down the buildings,
Bludgeon the architect,
Biased opinions from outdated intellect.
Its a spectacle,
its a public show,
Unimpressed so its time that I let you go.
From these antics, I may not be pure,
But I'm not all that toxic.
If I wanted to,
Make a comeback would kids resent me?
I've been ruined by young hands clapping
And we keep,
With a fear,
Of failing.
Listen while they say your name. (Sail on)
We hang our heads and take the blame. (Sail on)
A daggermouth is in control. (Sail on)
These chemicals will take your soul. (Sail on)
And we keep,
With a fear,
Of failing.

current mood: indescribable

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Saturday, November 5th, 2005
5:14 pm
what a fantastic day. woke up (not hung over thank god!) went and ate a wonderful breakfast at this little place called the shorebird. its right on the beach! its so pretty its all open and breezy. it was a very relaxing experince. i really need it to. so we didnt go snorkeling today, my roomate has cought my cold and we thougt it was best for her not to get in the water while she is not better yet. so instead decided to walk back from the shorebird to the hotel and just took out time strolling along. stopped and bought some bottled water then went to the beach in our back yard. laid out int he nice sunshine and read a really neat book while i listend to my ipod. very very relaxing. i think i might have stayed in the sun a little to long though. oh well it was worth it. :)
tonghit we are going to this club, its actually the same club i went to last night. but last night was thier 80's night. it was sooooo much fun. i started drinking malibu mango and sprite around 7 then we went to the bar in my hotel at like 9 then to the club at 11. it was packed. they played the best music! and everyone dresses up and dances like in the 80's. it was a blast. i kept thinking about how i wished my girls were there though. jamie you and amy would have freaking loved it!
well tonight is like goth night. its like wiaikiki's version of black out. i am excited. i think it will be a hoot. ( heehhee amy)
and the drinks there are actually pretty cheap so thats good. i am glad we have found some local places to hang out. every thing here can be so expensive because of the whole tourist trap mob ring.
now i am going to go continue my lazy tropical paradise day my going down to the pool and chilling in the water with one of those fru fru girlie pinnapple drinks with an umbrella and a huge flower in it. yep thank god for saturdays.

current mood: peaceful

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Friday, November 4th, 2005
1:49 am
well today was actually much better. only one more day left then i get to go out and actually enjoy being in hawaii. i think we are going to pack a lunch and go to this one bay and go snorkeling and chill on the beach all day. i am excited. very excited. i love the beach.
besides the whole work sucking right now issue, i am extreamly happy. i have a good job, a great house, new friends that love me, some old friends that still love me, a great boy and i get to spend all weekend on the freaking beach. i still am bugged by a few unresolved feelings about a few things that have happened over the past few months and the way things ended but there is nothing i can do about how other people feel about me. all i can do is pick up the pieces of what i have left and glue them back inplace with the new pieces i have found. and i know there are alot of skeptics out there who would love to see me fall flat on my face and fail misserably but i dont even care. like i said i cant change any of it. but i will assure everyone that i am going to be just fine and i am the happiest i have ever been and i dont care if people doubt me or arnt happy for me, cause i dont doubt it at all. this is the one thing in my whole entire life that i have never had a second thought about. not once. so as for the betting pool, i would go ahead and put your money one me, not against me. but hey i guess you gotta look at the odds right. whatever. i happen to know quite a few couples out there that the odds were very much against and yet everyone seemed to support them and love them for who they were, not who the were with. but none the less if anyone is in nashville and wants to hang out come right ahead and call me. i would love to see everyone. but if your in town and dont want to hang out, well then have a good time.

"forget regret or life is yours to miss. no day but today" thank you johnathan larson. take

current mood: curious

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Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005
10:59 pm
i have just had the worste possilbe day. i need tequilla and cheesecake now!!!

current mood: pissed off

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Tuesday, November 1st, 2005
2:37 am - lewis i found the doughnuts!!!
happy halloween!!!

well my time here has gotten a bit better. last week was rough at work. but we still managed to make it. did a bit of site seeing this weekend that really got my spirits up, it is so freaking beautifull here. its amazing. it took a ton of pictures i will post some as soon as i get home.
speaking of which, i am still very very ready to come home. i miss my new bed! and my shoes who the hell's idea was it to only let me take 2 bags of a week trip anyhow!! I could fill one with just shoes!
the hardest part is the time change, it was 5 hours behind but now because of daylight savings its only 4. you'd be suprised how much difference that extra hour makes. its so hard to get to talk to anybody back home cause when i get off work they are all going to bed to get ready for work the next day. poor jesse i wake him up everynight to let him know i got home from the bar ok. so imagine 2 or 3 o'clock here is 6 or 7 at home. how would you like to be woken up by a drunken starlit every freakin morning... dont anserew that. :)
i have so much stuff to do when i get home. unpack, pick out a puppy, wash my car, plan our wedding, buy new bedding, take my coat to the cleaners. yeah so i tried to sneak it in there. for those of you who dont know, suprise! hell has frozen over and pimp has lost the will to masturbate. yep thats right. jesse and i are engaged. i wanted to make a post about it sooner but i wanted to talk to a few people in person first. a few of which i did not get the time or the courage to do. so i apoligize for the sudden shock. i bet right now half of everybody is all " i knew it would happen" and the other half is like" what the fuck!" i know i know. lucy's got some splanin to do. well sorry boys now you'll really have to try hard to win me over. :)
i miss everybody soooo horribly much. i cant wait untill i get home and everyone can come see me. i really want everyone to come up. it will be so much fun to hang out with some familar faces again. i havent really had to much of a chance to go out and meet a ton of new people in nashville. but the friends i have made are really cool. i just have not been there that much to be my normal social butterfly self. plus everything is so freakin far away. it takes 30 mins to get ANYWHERE!! i guess i was just spoiled with my loverly little 5 points so close to everything. it really is the best place to live. well aside from my new apartment. heheehe. it has the ugliest yucky wall paper in both bathrooms. i think i am going to fuck it up!!! i mean "redecorate".
well its late and i must go to sleep i have a long day ahead of me again tommorrow. well part of that long day is eating supper on the beach while the sunsets. i know, its such a hard job. but i am willin to take one for the team here.

current mood: loved

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Sunday, October 23rd, 2005
4:20 am - so paradise is overpriced and filled with dumb people
ello all. i got got to hawaii. belive it or not i am completely missarable. i am not very impressed yet. maybe i am just grumpy form the fucking 15 hours i spent on planes today, who knows. hopefully tommorrow will be better. our hotel is the size of a small town, well a medium town. its so wierd.
i want to go home already. i miss mah babah! i love you! cant wait to come home to you! i cant come home soon enough.
good night all better update tommorrow.

current mood: cranky

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Sunday, October 9th, 2005
10:39 pm
welcome to knoxville... " a boring life in a boring town, its the same old croud. i used to think i'd never change but i am rotting here today."
not that bad really.
tequila is your friend. keeps me sane. i cant help but always have the same memory come to mind when ever i shoot tequila. i know that its not my first time doing it bu ti dont know why it always comes to mind when i drink it.
its clear as day, sitting in my crappy apartment on the kitchen counter with my best friends shooting. i remember he baile, but she kept drinking. what a trouper. i dont know why this memory is so fond to me but for some reason i can not drink tequila with out thinking of that moment in time. i have alot of times like that. where something stupid and totally unimportant will happen but for some odd reason it will bring back a flood of memories where i dont know were to laugh or cry.
i miss you. i hope things will be ok soon. i love you.

current mood: contemplative

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